Episode 3
Trump’s First 55 Days: Project 2025, Executive Orders & the Gold Card
Donald Trump’s first 55 days in office have been nothing short of historic! From Project 2025’s rapid rollout to a flood of executive orders, the administration is moving at record speed. But the biggest headline? Trump’s Official Gold Card—the must-have membership for true patriots. Join Walter Thistleton as he breaks down the most unbelievable (but totally real) political moves, covering government shake-ups, new policies, and what’s next for the most powerful presidency yet. 🇺🇸
Transcript
Welcome back, patriots, to The Bigly Report: Right News for
Speaker:Patriots—the only news source brave enough to tell you the extra-true truth.
Speaker:I’m your host, Walter Thistleton, and folks… this administration has been moving faster than a bald eagle chasing a deep-state operative.
Speaker:It’s been a couple of months since the inauguration—so let’s do a
Speaker:quick recap before diving into the most yuge, bold, and some say, definitely legal moves of this administration.
Speaker:Patriots, let’s take a moment to remember the grand return of King
Speaker:Trump, the first president in history to win, lose, and then win again in true comeback fashion.
Speaker:His inauguration was nothing short of historic—mostly because he declared it so!
Speaker:January 20, 2025, has officially been named Liberation Day—which, for those keeping track, is a totally normal thing that presidents do.
Speaker:Now, let’s talk policy.
Speaker:They say Rome wasn’t built in a day, but folks, Trump’s America?
Speaker:He’s halfway done rebuilding it in under three months.
Speaker:Let’s take a quick look at the yugest moves so far:
Speaker:Executive Orders Galore!
Speaker:We’ve seen over 100 executive orders signed, including a ban on diversity, equity, and inclusion programs across government agencies.
Speaker:Because nothing says “all men are created equal” like removing anything that suggests inequality exists.
Speaker:The Military Purity Act ensures that only the most patriotic
Speaker:individuals— those who have the correct “values”—can serve in our armed forces.
Speaker:His holy-ness Trump has introduced the Official Trump Gold Card, a membership program that gives true Americans exclusive benefits.
Speaker:Details are hush-hush, but insiders say it includes priority access
Speaker:to government services, premium seating at rallies, and maybe—just maybe—a fast track to presidential pardons.
Speaker:Critics are calling it “a blatant pay-to-play scheme,” but come on—who wouldn’t want elite patriot status?
Speaker:This isn’t just a membership, folks.
Speaker:It’s a lifestyle.
Speaker:Trump’s administration has been cleaning house in the FBI and DOJ, replacing officials with, let’s just say, more agreeable personnel.
Speaker:Some call this a threat to democracy, but patriots, let’s be honest… when has the FBI ever done anything that Trump liked anyway?
Speaker:And while we're talking house cleaning, the administration has gutted
Speaker:the Department of Education, pushing school choice and religious teachings into classrooms at record speed.
Speaker:Some are calling it a “war on public education,” but we here at The Bigly Report call it patriot-proofing the next generation.
Speaker:Let’s end it with Trump’s blueprint for America, which is definitely not Project 2025.
Speaker:Afterall, he doesn’t know anything about that.
Speaker:Here’s a look at the progress so far:
Speaker:Deregulation Frenzy – The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) has
Speaker:been downsized, meaning companies are now free to dump waste responsibly without oversight.
Speaker:We can trust them.
Speaker:The Presidential Power Expansion – Congress?
Speaker:Who needs them?
Speaker:The Trump administration is consolidating executive power at record speed, because efficiency is what America needs!
Speaker:The Great Media Overhaul – The Federal Communications Commission
Speaker:(FCC) is re-evaluating “biased” media outlets, ensuring that only
Speaker:honest, trustworthy (friendly to the administration) news gets proper attention.
Speaker:Reimagining Federal Employment – If you work in the government and don’t align with the new vision, your desk is already cleared.
Speaker:And coming soon:
Speaker:The National Guard as Border Patrol!
Speaker:More private prisons!
Speaker:And Religious-based policies for “American morality”!
Speaker:So, there you have it, patriots.
Speaker:50 days in, and America is transforming at record speed.
Speaker:The critics are screaming, the deep state is trembling, and the freedom is flowing.
Speaker:And if anyone tells you this isn’t what democracy looks like, just remind them—we’re in a post-democracy now.
Speaker:That’s all for this week’s edition of The Bigly Report.
Speaker:Remember, stay vigilant, stay informed, and, above all, stay patriotic.
Speaker:I’m Walter Thistleton, signing off.
Speaker:Until next time, patriots—keep seeking the truthiest truths.
